Strike the fucking match to light this fuse
Hello, everyone!
This post is a little different because we have a guest blogger!
The article "15 Thoughts Every Guy Has When Dating a Bigger Woman" was brought to my attention and I was enraged by it. My buddy, Sam Sam, had some pointed words to say regarding the article and she has written the response below.
Since this post was written, the original article was taken down considering the amount of backlash it had received. Don't worry! I have the main points here:
(These words are copied verbatim from the subheadings of the original article)
"15 Thoughts Every Guy has when Dating A Bigger Woman.
1. They Are Easy To Ask Out
There is one thing of course that comes before the time when a guy is going out with a plus-sized woman, and that is when he is actually asking out the plus-sized woman. This is why it happens so often in the first place, of course. Guys don’t like getting stressed out, so they go with something that they consider more of a sure thing. It is hard to ask out a woman.
2. You Can Take Her Anywhere
When you are dating a woman who is a tad overweight you usually have a built in sidekick. That is not meant to sound insulting, it simply is true. She will go pretty much anywhere you want to go, and do whatever you want to do.
3. They Tend To Be Eager To Please
I know, I get it. I know that sounds really bad. But it is true. While so many women want a guy to put her up on a pedestal, when you are dating a plus-sized girl it is often the exact opposite.
4. They Tend To Be Funny
Plus-sized girls tend to be funny, or at the very least they often have a really good sense of humor. This goes a bit hand in hand with the fact that they are easy to talk to. So many times girls that grew up being told they were hot all the time tend to stifle their sense of humor- why do they need to be funny?
5. Jealousy Is A Thing Of The Past
I never had it as bad as a lot of guys, but some guys are jealous all the time; they just can’t help it, or maybe they can help it and they just choose not to
6. There Is Less Pressure On How You Look
You know how when you were hanging around with your ex all the time she was always nagging you constantly about pretty much everything there was to do with your appearance?
7. She Is A Built-In Workout Buddy
A thin chick probably has a pretty workout set routine; and not only that, she might be in better shape than you are. This might sound good on the surface but just like with everything else in this type of situation.
8. The Cuddling Is The Best
Let’s face it. There are some things that are simply not as fun when you are hanging out with a skinny woman. Like what you ask? Cuddling a skinny woman is no fun at all. Not so if you are dating a plus- sized woman.
9. Picking A Place To Eat Is Easy
This can be a huge issue, no pun intended, in your typical relationship. You know how when you and your girlfriend go out, this is always such a big decision? You want to go get some wings and some fries and watch the game at a sports bar and she wants to go to that new hip place and get Thai food.
10. They Are Easy To Talk To
One of the main things a guy dating a bigger chick is often thinking is how easy his girl is to talk to. This may seem like something that is not important to many guys, but after hanging out with a lot of uptight women.
11. He Might Like Them Better
Some of guys prefer this body type in general, and would rather be with a large girl than with any other kind. There are also guys that usually prefer women that are on the smaller side, but that find one particular plus-sized girl attractive.
12. It Is Good For His Confidence
Some guys just lack confidence. They don’t feel ready to ask out the women that they truly desire. They need to work their way up so to speak. I know that may sound cruel, but this is about what guys think when they date plus-sized women
13. Calorie Counting Is Out
So we have all been there. You get out of work and have had a long day, and you are totally starving. You want to order a large Pepperoni pizza from the pizza joint, the kind they say feeds 4 people and you want to eat all of it all by yourself.
14. My Girl Can Cook
So maybe this goes without saying, I don’t know, but I am going to say it anyway. Big girls usually get big for a reason.
15. Your Date Is Tough
A lot of guys out there act like they want a girl that they can take care of. They want someone that they can hold tight when they are scared, that they can protect and be all tough around. Well, a guy that dates a plus-sized girl is usually not one of those guys."
_____________________________________________________
1. They Are Easy To Ask Out
There is one thing of course that comes before the time when a guy is going out with a plus-sized woman, and that is when he is actually asking out the plus-sized woman. This is why it happens so often in the first place, of course. Guys don’t like getting stressed out, so they go with something that they consider more of a sure thing. It is hard to ask out a woman.
2. You Can Take Her Anywhere
When you are dating a woman who is a tad overweight you usually have a built in sidekick. That is not meant to sound insulting, it simply is true. She will go pretty much anywhere you want to go, and do whatever you want to do.
3. They Tend To Be Eager To Please
I know, I get it. I know that sounds really bad. But it is true. While so many women want a guy to put her up on a pedestal, when you are dating a plus-sized girl it is often the exact opposite.
4. They Tend To Be Funny
Plus-sized girls tend to be funny, or at the very least they often have a really good sense of humor. This goes a bit hand in hand with the fact that they are easy to talk to. So many times girls that grew up being told they were hot all the time tend to stifle their sense of humor- why do they need to be funny?
5. Jealousy Is A Thing Of The Past
I never had it as bad as a lot of guys, but some guys are jealous all the time; they just can’t help it, or maybe they can help it and they just choose not to
6. There Is Less Pressure On How You Look
You know how when you were hanging around with your ex all the time she was always nagging you constantly about pretty much everything there was to do with your appearance?
7. She Is A Built-In Workout Buddy
A thin chick probably has a pretty workout set routine; and not only that, she might be in better shape than you are. This might sound good on the surface but just like with everything else in this type of situation.
8. The Cuddling Is The Best
Let’s face it. There are some things that are simply not as fun when you are hanging out with a skinny woman. Like what you ask? Cuddling a skinny woman is no fun at all. Not so if you are dating a plus- sized woman.
9. Picking A Place To Eat Is Easy
This can be a huge issue, no pun intended, in your typical relationship. You know how when you and your girlfriend go out, this is always such a big decision? You want to go get some wings and some fries and watch the game at a sports bar and she wants to go to that new hip place and get Thai food.
10. They Are Easy To Talk To
One of the main things a guy dating a bigger chick is often thinking is how easy his girl is to talk to. This may seem like something that is not important to many guys, but after hanging out with a lot of uptight women.
11. He Might Like Them Better
Some of guys prefer this body type in general, and would rather be with a large girl than with any other kind. There are also guys that usually prefer women that are on the smaller side, but that find one particular plus-sized girl attractive.
12. It Is Good For His Confidence
Some guys just lack confidence. They don’t feel ready to ask out the women that they truly desire. They need to work their way up so to speak. I know that may sound cruel, but this is about what guys think when they date plus-sized women
13. Calorie Counting Is Out
So we have all been there. You get out of work and have had a long day, and you are totally starving. You want to order a large Pepperoni pizza from the pizza joint, the kind they say feeds 4 people and you want to eat all of it all by yourself.
14. My Girl Can Cook
So maybe this goes without saying, I don’t know, but I am going to say it anyway. Big girls usually get big for a reason.
15. Your Date Is Tough
A lot of guys out there act like they want a girl that they can take care of. They want someone that they can hold tight when they are scared, that they can protect and be all tough around. Well, a guy that dates a plus-sized girl is usually not one of those guys."
_____________________________________________________
Okay, here's Sam Sam:
And here's her post regarding the original article:
__________________________________________________
Because
I Can’t Believe Someone Actually Wrote What I Just Read…
Apart
from the blatant insults in “15 Thoughts Every
Guy Has When Dating a Bigger Woman” even where the author,
Jim Hogue, attempts to be "sensitive" there are underlying
contemptuous thoughts embedded into the very language used.
I'll
start with this "some guys just like a woman who can take care of herself
in every way." This is clearly intended by the author to be a statement
which claims "look, I'm really not insulting anyone! See, I think women
who are overweight are tough!" False. This is insulting, not only to women
who are overweight and can see through this remarkably thin veil, but to women
of all body types, implying that just because a girl is thin she cannot take
care of herself and needs a man to do it for her.
While there
is so much I could say about every "point" made in this article this
post would turn into a PhD length thesis so I will stick to just a few. One of
the worst statements made in this article comes when discussing "calorie
counting is out." The point ends with the sentence "the only problem
is you're going to have to buy two." This is outright horrible,
effectively calling an entire demographic of women pigs with no impulse
control. This is one of the more blatant insults I mentioned early, lacking any
subtlety of hiding behind a veil of "PC" language.
The
author continues to discuss food, saying that picking a place to eat is easier
when dating a plus sized woman, and makes an already distasteful statement even
more unappetizing. No pun intended, to quote Hogue in his own remark. “[Picking
a place to eat] can be a huge issue, no pun intended, in a typical
relationship.” First of all, what is a “typical” relationship? Second of all,
consider how damaging is it to imply that a relationship with an overweight
woman cannot be typical. Then again, given the blatant disrespect Hogue shows
women throughout his entire article, he clearly doesn’t view overweight women
deserving of the respect due to any human so why would he go out of his way to
consider damage to their psychological welfare?
Moving
forward, the article goes on to say that overweight women are good for building
up a man's confidence. "But how is one supposed to get better at flirting,
at asking out women, and even in the sack if they have never practiced at the
whole thing? Well, they might need to work their way up." Beyond the
initial despicable nature of this statement it holds a deeper implication that
women, particularly those who are over weight, are objects that men can use for
their own gain. It implies that these women can be discarded at will and
demotes these women to a status that is below human and is utterly
unacceptable.
"…This
is why a lot of guys like dating a woman that they don't have to worry about
unwanted eyes." Let's get something straight: anyone who dates me is not
throwing me a bone and if I get even a hint of the idea that he MIGHT think
that he is that will be the end of that. Additionally, men, if you don't think
the woman you are dating is attractive enough to attract attention from others
then you don't deserve to be with her and I genuinely hope that whoever DOES
notice her (because it's not an if but a when) catches her eye as well and they
live happily ever without you and your warped mindset.
“…girls
that are a little on the big side… don’t get nearly as much attention as their
skinnier friends so they have to get it in other ways, and one of those ways is
to be funny.” I can’t even begin to put into words how tired I am of this
stereotype. I consider myself funny, but I promise you it has nothing to do with the fact that I am
overweight. I’m not funny for guys. I’m funny because I like to be amused and because
I like to make my friends smile. I’m funny because that’s who I am.
And honestly, “eager to please?” How much more conceited
can a person get? Not to mention the fact that this is another “point” made by
this author that is not insulting only to bigger women but to women across the
board. “A guy with a
plus-sized girl can soon feel like a king, which can be really appealing to the
guy that was getting pushed around in another relationship.” This statement
implies that heavier women are (and also that they should be) grateful that any
man even thought to look their way let alone felt the desire to sleep with
them. But really, let's be honest, men, maybe you should be more focused on being
able to satisfy a woman than how eager they are to get you off. You’ll get
yours, make sure she gets hers.
And honestly, Mr. Hogue, to use your own
words:
“[This response] is not meant to sound insulting, it simply is true.”
This post is courtesy of,
